In a perfect world, we’d be able to do our jobs without personal issues ever causing a ripple. Our work life would stay neatly in the work compartment, our personal life would stay perfectly in the personal compartment, and each area would behave itself and not cross the other’s boundaries…



Of course that’s not the way things usually work. “Life happens”, as the saying goes, and the scales balancing work and personal life are bound to weigh more heavily toward the “personal” at various times throughout our careers.



Marriage or divorce, a big move, pregnancy, health or financial challenges, issues with a parent or child…any number of life events can make carrying on the day-to-day duties of a job more challenging.



The question many of my coaching clients ask when personal issues start to take center stage is, “How much should I tell my boss and other work associates?”



While there is no hard and fast answer since work cultures and relationships with colleagues can vary greatly, I advise using discretion whenever possible.



Here are 4 tips to help you discreetly navigate your personal issues in the workplace:



#1 – Avoid Over-Sharing



In today’s social media driven world, people think nothing of sharing the minutest details of their lives with hundreds of online friends and a growing contingent feels that this is spilling over into the workplace. Leadership and Communications consultant, Peggy Klaus calls it “O.S.D” – Obsessive Sharing Disorder. “It’s a continuation of online behavior,” Klaus says, “…or as I like to say, Facebook in your face.”



Over-sharing personal issues at work can have negative consequences that can lead colleagues to see the over-sharer as a victim, self-absorbed/narcissistic, or uncommitted/ unable to fulfill the responsibilities of their job due to their problems.



#2 – Confide Only In Those You Trust



If you want to share news that you’re engaged or closing on a home, by all means, spread the joy at work. On the other hand, if it’s more serious news that you don’t want broadcast at the copy machine, I recommend sharing it with just one or two of your most trusted work friends if you need support. For additional confidential support, consider contacting a representative from your company’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP), if one is offered.



# 3 – Keep Your Boss In The Loop



If your ability to do your job is being compromised – either due to frequent absences (for outside meetings or appointments) or undue stress – it’s important to be straightforward with your boss about your circumstances. The more honest and direct you are, the more your boss can help create a situation where, ideally, you have the workplace support you need to work through your issues.



#4 – Consider Timing



Timing can make a difference in how personal news is received in the workplace and the ensuing consequences. Divulging personal news prematurely (eg: pregnancy, spouse’s out-of-town job interview) could make you more vulnerable to unwanted changes (eg: getting passed over for projects or promotions).



You are your own best PR representative when it comes to how you’re perceived in the office. Judiciously sharing upbeat personal news can help put you in a positive light, while over-sharing negative news can do the opposite.



If you’re dealing with serious personal matters that are affecting your ability to do your job, be discreet, but also proactive. It’s important to let the right people in your workplace know so you can get the support you need.